


Letters to Laura

by fictionalportal



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Epistolary, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-13
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:36:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalportal/pseuds/fictionalportal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is better at writing than at talking when it comes to feelings. A series of letters from the broody vampire to the girl she loves more than anything in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

~~Dear Laura~~

~~My Love~~

~~Cupcake~~

~~Sweetheart~~

To Laura

This is asking much of you, but believe me: I know I’m not good with feelings. Hundreds of years of explanations do not justify my inability to properly express to you what I wish I could say more easily.

Side note: love at first sight does not exist. An entire being cannot be judged from one context or meeting. I don’t mean to be callous, but I was not in love with you from the second we met. Infatuated, perhaps, would be a more accurate word. You were so without want for protection yet so naïve to the evils of the world. Determined. Optimistic. Completely annoying. Beautiful.

Your complete disregard for danger confounded me. You weren’t afraid of me. Everyone seemed to start with a perfect score to you, the least kind and most undeserving individuals graced with your time and attention. Once you set aside one of those moments of kindness for me—well, it was more than I had ever wished for.

Buried underground, I never dared hope to be found by you. My first impression might have been well under par, but it took me a hundred years to build walls you burst through in a few weeks. When someone possesses the unique ability to influence the world around them by simply existing, it is incredible. You are incredible.

I have yet to suppress my shock that you find me worth so much of your time. You are more than I ever asked for, wished for, dreamed for in my most wild escapist fantasies. I am yours, Laura, for as long as you will have me.

~~Love~~

~~Sincerely~~

~~Yours~~

~~From~~

I love you.

\--Carmilla


	2. Chapter 2

Laura-

Seeing as I will likely still be asleep when you wake up, happy birthday. As it turns out, healing from nearly dying is rather exhausting. Forgive me for that. Please.

As far as today is concerned, we can do whatever you want, if you want me with you. I don’t mean we have to spend the whole day together, but we can if you want. I’m not busy. I didn’t come to Paris to do things. That’s not to say that if you want to do things I don’t want to. Quite the opposite. There’s nowhere I would prefer to be.

I am hoping we can at the very least have dinner together. Join me for 8:00 reservations at La Plage? From the patio we can look at the stars, and they have the most divine chocolate cake. I might have also picked up a bottle of champagne last night. If a night of staring at the stars holds any appeal for you, I hope to spend the evening with you under the sky as it closes its blue eyes to black nighttime.

In the vein of stunning tableaus, check your closet. You can wear it to dinner if you find it suits you. I thought the color would compliment your eyes. That, and it was the next best gift I could think of when I learned that the convenience store was out of those packaged cookies you love so religiously.

See you soon.

-Carmilla


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, sweetheart. Sorry about your shirt. Blood stains don’t come out of cotton too easily.

While I’m on the subject, I feel rather awful about scaring you that night, worse for tearing apart your pillow in a clouded rage. Actually, worse about scaring you. Your eyes so full of fear and so focused on me...needless to say, paranoia over the possibility gave life to a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

I suppose you deserve to know what happened. They were vivid dreams. Terrifying dreams. Dreams that I had stopped you from going over the edge of the cliff and Elle was trying to escape from the maw of the hungry light but couldn’t and she reached out for me but I couldn’t help her, not without letting you go. My dream self was frozen and conflicted. My conscious self was yelling, commanding my paralyzed dream self to pull you out of the chasm. But I couldn’t. I was helpless. 

You fell and I watched. And Elle laughed. Her limbs stretched and her face twisted into a hideous smile and then she was my mother, descending on me with a cackling grin. I couldn’t save you. I can’t let that happen, any of it. Consciously, I will always choose you. 

I hope you understand why I have gone away for a few days. You being safe is the most important thing, and right now my being here is compromising that. I’ll be back once I’ve settled down enough to think straight about the whole incident and sort it all out. I promise. I’m not leaving. 

Hopefully, this pillow is close to the color of your old one. 

I’m so sorry, Laura.


	4. Chapter 4

Laura-

I can’t say I wasn’t surprised when I received your letter. I don’t recall ever writing down my Icelandic address. 

However you knew where I am, I’m glad you’re alright. 

In a few days I’ll be home. What can I say: your proposition of a night in a blanket fort was just too intriguing to pass up, though I do hope you’re not expecting that we’ll stay up late playing some mind-numbing slumber party game. I have other plans for the evening that involve a lot less aimless chatter. Don’t expect to hold onto your new pillow for too long. 

Iceland is lovely this time of year. Certainly greener than Greenland. Spring is slow to come this far north, but looking at the stars is even more satisfying here. There’s so little light pollution that you can see the auroras across the sky. They’re bright and colorful and wondrous. Fleeting, in the grand scheme of time, but I will always remember seeing them. 

Maybe it’s just because I’m writing to you while marveling at the night sky, but I miss you. I needed to leave for a time to sift through the overwhelming number of thoughts in my head alone, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t rather be home with you. Soon I’ll be able to hold you again. 

Yours,

-Carmilla


	5. Chapter 5

Laura-

I know I wrote yesterday, but I needed to send you this picture. I don’t remember planting eggplants--or anything, for that matter--but look at this. Nature found it prudent to grow a half-meter-long eggplant in the backyard. Combat boot for scale. 

The second picture, as you can see, is a goat I found roaming around eating the less intimidating eggplants. When I noticed I tried to chase it off, but it stood up on its hind legs--at which point I unpleasantly learned he was male--and called me rude for interrupting lunch. The goat, or satyr, I suppose, then continued to parade about my backyard consuming gourd after gourd. Even the fangs didn’t scare him off. He rolled his eyes and told me that his kind had been around longer than mine, and on top of that he had lived on that property longer than I had. How we never ran into each other before now makes me suspicious of his story. 

Aside from the anomalous vegetative growth and visits from mythical creatures, it’s relatively calm here. In fact, it’s too quiet. The kind of silence that fills your ears and drowns your thoughts as you try to fall asleep alone. I never thought I would miss having someone next to me, but then again I never thought I would have someone to miss. 

Clearly I’ve been away too long and I’ve rotted into a sappy mess. Reading that last paragraph over, I’m making myself gag. Disgusting. 

See you soon. 

-Carmilla


End file.
